Reflections and New Adventures

Christmas & New Years were spent in Malaysia, it's been about 5 years since I went home over the busiest travel season of the year. It was the most productive yet unproductive trip. A little homesick now that I'm back in London.

So, let's reflect on 2011, and talk about new goals for 2012.

2011

Fav past time in the summer, lying
horizontally in Hyde Park after a run,
reflecting & watching the skies

All I wanted to do was travel travel travel. Then, my goal for 2011 was to travel to 5 new cities/towns, two of which had to be in countries I'd never been to.  Mission accomplished through a mixture of work travels and holiday -  Berlin, Oslo, Almaty, Helsinki, Sicily. Finland, Kazakhstan and Norway were countries I'd never been to. I was also fortunate to be able to go back to Las Vegas, Amsterdam, Brussels, Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. 

Looking back, 2011 was also a monumental year work wise, something that naturally unfolded, but has impacted me in a way I'm so grateful for. By the end of 2011, I realised that I had finally figured out what drives me, what my passion was. Around March 2011, I was in a position where I could either choose to focus on client accounts, or move towards a more tech focused role.  I picked the latter intuitively and embarked on a new journey. Long story short, I LOVE what I currently do. For the last 6 months of 2011, I was working 10-12 hour weekdays and not once did I hate it. In fact, I wanted the day to go on and on, and wanted to learn more and jump into the deep end. It is a really good place to be, and I wish it on every person in the world - that you happen to do what you love and are passionate about for work, and come through the doors with a bounce & determination in your step every single day.

I'd also decided to focus on my health in 2011. Went back to running & tennis, ate healthier than I'd ever done in the past 6 years since I stopped competitive sports.

Also went to a bunch of gigs, sporting events, explored more of London, discovered new British bands.

Looking back, I'm not sure how I managed to keep sane.

2012

Goals:

1. Spend a few weeks in NYC and Philly, visit some of my closest friends.

2. Visit China in late 2012, mom and I were talking about going to Shanghai and a bunch of villages in late 2012. I'm so excited already it's bound to happen.

3. The stereotypical British holiday - on an island somewhere in Europe. I would love to do Croatia.

4. Get a CIW certificate. I've been meaning to take a bunch of courses to get a solid foundation in this new tech role and signed up for a 150 hour course in late Dec. 

5. Decide on a city I'd like to reside permanently. I've been thinking long and hard about London, where I've lived for the past three years. Ss this the place I want to live? I'm not sure, and I'm not certain London is for me. Having aged another year, I think it's time to think about it seriously and aim to make a decision by the end of 2012.

6. Be a better person. 

I'm excited for 2012...

Another adventure

Two weeks ago, I was approached and asked to be "involved" in a new and exciting initiative. I jumped at it. I like taking on new challenges, being involved in new things. Did I enquire about my level of involvement at that time? No. I simply said "Hell yes".

A week later, I start realising how "involved" I was going to be. So lately, time is precious. Really precious. Deep breath, I tell myself, it's okay, I can manage. It's like going back to school, learning new tools, trying to master it so I can teach it proficiently to the new team. Did I get stuck? Oh yes, at times hours were spent trying to figure out little, minute things. Ok great, got past that, moving on..

Today, I dug around further, trying to understand the pieces surrounding the context of this new initiative so I could start moving on to other related tasks. I start realising that what I know so far, is a tiny sand grain in a little section of a beach that goes on for miles and miles.

You know that feeling you get when something actually starts to sink in? Like pins and needles creeping up on you, from head to toe, in what seems like hours?

You know when you feel like you know it all, but realisation sets in that you've barely scratched the surface?

What do you do at this point?

You take it one step at a time, focusing on the present, while knowing there's a bigger purpose in all of this. You also accept that mistakes are okay; they are the best way of learning and getting from Point A to Point Z (while trying to minimise the # of mistakes along the way of course). You put your heart and soul into it, and desire any tangible outcome to be a reflection of your strengths. You steer clear of the naysayers and cling on to the ones that inspire you.

At the end of all this, when you feel you've accomplished what you had set out to do, you take a deep breath...smile, reflect, throw in a vacation by the beach .... and are ready to do it all over again.

Perspective

Life for the past few months has been all about work. It doesn't have to be this way, but it's a combination of it being a personal choice, being passionate about what I do and working with people who inspire me and are great fun to work with.

Things have really picked up at work. Yes working long hours is one thing, but of late, it's been meetings, conference calls one after another, new projects, with not a spare moment to take a deep breath and think anything through thoroughly. 


Amongst all this, I noticed that up till a few weeks ago, I had been approaching work in a way too personal way. I mean that when things don't go perfectly, it really affects me and I take it all to heart even though these are business related things. There were two weeks of consistent sleepless nights because my head kept turning, and neither did I try to stop it. I'd crash on the weekends. One day recently, I was in the office up till 10pm dealing with a few things. I called a dear friend (who might as well be my life coach) right after and broke down. The gist was that I was simply overwhelmed with emotion. One of my main roles includes supporting clients and sales folks in the company. So I tend to hear all the great stuff but also hear the other end of the stick. At that point it feel like the weight of a thousand rocks on my shoulders.

I explained this to her, and yes she sympathised with me, but more importantly, she gave me a reality check. Why was I taking everything to heart? At the end of the day, this is work. Such a simple statement, yet, it really hit me. I thought, "Yes she's right, I'm being utterly ridiculous about this". I won't stop caring, and will always be solution orientated, but I needed to change certain things about the way I approached it.

It's all about perspective isn't it, and sometimes we need to hear this from others to bring us back down to earth. I've made some changes since, and it's been all for the better.

A few weekends ago I was sitting down with a friend reflecting on life. We narrowed down to a specific topic. She was telling me about how four years ago. she had all these worries in life which affected her mentally and physically. Soon after, she received some personal news, one that was earth-shattering. Reflecting back on it now, she sees how her earlier worries were insignificant to the news she received soon after and in the bigger picture of things, she might have seen and dealt with her earlier worries differently. 


I've always had this tiny fear in the back of my mind, that someday, something earth shattering will happen to me, one so significant that nothing else will matter. I will go completely numb and physical and emotional pain will have no impact on me. Once the numbness subsides, I would look back on life, and question certain choices.


At the end of the day, these earth shattering moments are unpredictable, and there's no point harping on the whats ifs and what might happen. It's all about living in the present, making the best of it, and living life with no regrets.

For safekeeping

I wrote this excerpt 3 years ago on Facebook that I want to safe keep on this blog. By the way FB's time line? Yes I love the various designs, but I'm not really feeling it. I like clean simple interfaces, not a clutter of boxes all over my profile.

Slight deviation, but back to this excerpt:

Friends vs. acquaintances
Passion vs. mediocrity
Chemistry vs. commonality
Tenacity vs. irresolution
Consistency vs. irregularity

Always the former, and never the latter


No, there was no plagiarising involved here. I can't remember what spurred the above, but I must have been very inspired that day.

So yes, this is a reminder of how I want to live each day at a time.

On the note of consistency...

September marks the last month of working directly with my former boss, Nico. We will still be working together, though on a less frequent basis. He has been a great mentor over the past year, and I've learnt a lot from him. The one thing I've observed and admire him tremendously for is his consistency with how he perceives himself, and how he communicates the values he stands for to the entire team. All this while providing me with the freedom and independence to develop in my own way. Sounds elementary, but I think it's easier said than done. I've observed quite a few folks in upper management who say one thing, but then it becomes questionable when you see quite the opposite unravel in their day to day interactions. Although we've both moved on to new roles within the company, I know I can always call him out of the blue if I need some advise. This is so important in any company you work with, that you have someone you can trust, be honest with, and know that they'll have your back. Mutual trust and respect. Thank you.

Sicily, reflections on the year, next year

A bunch of us rented a villa in Cefalu, Sicily, and celebrated Courtney's birthday this past weekend. 

The trip was a perfect balance of all sorts. Heat, strong sun and winds on Saturday and Sunday. Torrential downpour on Monday, like the kind of monsoon rain we get in Malaysia, where everything gets knocked over by the winds, perfect for a day in to finish one of Jo Nesbo's novels, while we watched the storm play out like a movie through the glass windows. Strong sun on Tuesday, as if someone up there knew it was mine and Kirstine's last day and wanted to bless us with some last bits of sunshine before heading back to London. Good food, wine, and company.

The beaches were beautiful. Clear, turquoise blue, warm.  

Two years living in London now, and I get it. I get why the British need to escape to a place with lots of sunshine. I never did see it, having been blessed with 28 degree weather in Malaysia for 20 years. But 2 years in London, and yea...

I jumped straight back into work on Thursday morning, and for the first two hours, I hated the world. I got over it...

Today has been a day of reflection. After running 5 miles, I laid horizontally on my favorite park to catch my breath and reflected on the year. This year has been amazing, and Sicily marks the last of my travels in 2011 before I focus on work for the next three months and head back to Malaysia for a month. 

This year was very much about me. Not exactly in a selfish way, but I focused on certain things. Last year, a tumultuous relationship and some career changes threw me off tracks. I'm not religious, but I believe in spirituality. Especially when it comes to bad energy, negativity, and the toll it can take on a person's well being, in many forms. I decided that 2011 was going to be different. And it has been. I remembered all the things I loved, held dear to me, revisited them, and held on to them, ingrained into my everyday life. A bit vague, but then, this IS a public blog.

2012 - I've started thinking about what this year will be about. All I can think about is how I will be 27... Good lord..time to start acting like an adult..hah. No..I've a few things I'd like to do..

I'd like to leave you with a blog I came across today http://www.legalnomads.com/. I discovered Jodi's blog through a recent post by Chris Guillebeau. People like Jodi and Chris Guillebeau inspire me so much. Chris' blog is title The Art of Non Conformity. Kinda sums up how I want my life to be, and the kind of people I want to be surrounded by. 

Challenges

Dad has been in London for a few days now. Whenever he drops by I like quizzing him about his university days in London and when he met mom.

Life could have been very different for me. Mom and Dad lived in London for 6 years, studied, married and worked here. They became permanent residents, and were pretty much set on living here. At the end of the six years they decide to visit Malaysia for a bit. This short visit turned into relocating back to Malaysia for good.

As a Malaysian having been through numerous costly and time consuming visa processes in the US and UK, I sometimes dream about how much easier life would've been had I been born in the UK. 

On Saturday, as dad and I were strolling along the canal by Regents Park, I go "Oh dad why couldn't I have been born here!" 

"Why is that?" dad asks.

"Well I would have one less worry in life."

Dad laughs at me and goes "If that were the case, you would only have had a comfortable life. At least you grew up in Malaysia and experienced a different culture, moved to the States and you're now in London! If you had grown up in the UK, you'd probably have gone to university here and lived here your whole life."

And he's probably right. I don't think I'd have studied in the US, worked there, found my way to London, and have met and experienced the numerous variations of life and personalities along the way.

My cousin, Fernie, wrote a post about how change is good, how it contributes to one's appreciation. Fern was born in the US, and moved about quite a bit: Malaysia, Texas, San Diego, and recently, Hangzhou. Her writing is simply beautiful and those of us who have moved about can certainly relate to. Read it here.

Let me try to tie all the strings together. This blog, although unintentional, is mainly focused on travels that come about due to work and personal interest. I'm a firm believer in traveling as much as possible. Travels tend to throw you out of your comfort zone, and into circumstances that challenge you. She teaches you how to deal with them, and turns you into a stronger, yet versatile person over time. She is invaluable, priceless and teaches you how to persevere in the years ahead of us. 

Thank you Steve..

I first read of Steve Job's departure as CEO this morning, on the way to work.

It was weird. I don't know him, have never known him. But it felt like someone close had departed and i felt more affected than I really should be.

I read further down the New York Times article and it began to make sense. Steve Jobs vision from 30 years ago, now realised, is part of my everyday life. To be honest, the fact is, the results of his vision are ingrained in me. I spend at least 10 hours a day on a Steve Jobs heavily influenced product - iPhone plugged in on the way to work combined with reading the BBC/NYTimes app. At work, I'm on a MacBook all day (which I just moved over from a PC, and it's the best change that's happened - productivity-wise).

This paragraph from the NYTimes article sums it up perfectly:

“Funny how much emotion you can feel about a stranger,” wrote Susan Orlean, the author. “And yet every phone call I make, every time I’m on a computer, he’s part of it.” 

He will always be known for taking risks, not backing down, and realising that in the most innovative yet consumer centric way. Are you kidding? That is an understatement. 

 

Thank you Steve for changing this industry, and challenging the competition.